What do you do when you go out to watch a movie expecting it to be something of an epic cross between Gladiator and Troy, at least in terms of class, and instead get an apology of a movie that alternates between downright hilarious and painfully taxing? Curse the voters at www.imdb.com, that's what. I know the ratings system at the "earth's biggest movie database" can be a little quirky at times, but a rating of 8.2 for something as crass as 300, spearing it into the list of the top 250 movies of all time is pure scandalous. And the movie's making all the big bucks too - having scythed a rollicking opening in the US, it's on its way to becoming one of the most successful war movies ever. Seriously, Hollywood needs to be rescued, and fast.
The problem with 300 is not so much its actual quality but its over-ambitious intent. All the makers had to do was make a big budget, visually attractive movie that did NOT pretend to be anything more than a regulation comic book adaptation. Instead, they chose to aim for Lord of the Rings-style glory, which, predictably enough, makes it laughably over-dramatized. And don't even get me started on the liberal helpings of gore and violence, which, coupled with the noir-like brown tinge present throughout like some kind of sympathetic haze, gives you a right splitting headache.
The film starts off dreadfully, with some kind of barbaric ritual meant to give superpowers to the privileged citizens of Sparta that only makes you fear for the sanity of the incredibly hot-headed Spartans. And things don't get better from there; in fact, they get progressively worse. The focus shifts to a blood-thirsty king who foolishly challenges the mighty Persian army to battle the specially-designed Spartan warriors. There's a queen too, who perpetually seems to be itching to deliver some powerful lines. Cut to a scene showing a savage bunch of morally-challenged priests and a very apoplectic Oracle-girl, and the king is advised not to go to battle. If only the king had heeded the good priests' advice, we would have been spared some really wasteful shots that are filled with nothing but blood and severed heads.
Instead, the king sets out to pulverize the almost-invincible Persian army with a puny band of 300 people, because he can't engage in full-scale battle. And here's where the real comedy starts. There are so many problems with this crazy suicide warring that it seems amazing that the legend of this ludicrously impossible episode has lasted so long. The 300 warriors, all of whose profession is apparently 'Hoo hoo hoo!' (at least, that's what it sounded like) go forth with no bodily armor, and indeed, practically no bodily clothes either.
Instead, the king sets out to pulverize the almost-invincible Persian army with a puny band of 300 people, because he can't engage in full-scale battle. And here's where the real comedy starts. There are so many problems with this crazy suicide warring that it seems amazing that the legend of this ludicrously impossible episode has lasted so long. The 300 warriors, all of whose profession is apparently 'Hoo hoo hoo!' (at least, that's what it sounded like) go forth with no bodily armor, and indeed, practically no bodily clothes either.
They then embark on a series of loud yells and excited pronouncements of the word 'Spartan!'. In fact, the words 'Sparta' and 'Spartan' are used so often in the movie that towards the end I was tempted to keep count. Everyone mentions one of these two words in nearly every line - the king continually insists that they should all die for Sparta, the warriors keep chanting that Sparta stands for freedom, and even the queen addresses her husband, not as 'my dear', 'my lord' or even by his name, but as, you guessed it, 'Spartan'. Clearly, the makers have a passionate obsession with all things Spartan.
The appearance of horrendously mutated and unpleasantly disfigured humans and all sorts of other creatures is something of a fashion in the movie. And some of the shots showing exactly how the 300 warriors enthusiastically butcher all of their adversaries, in very graphic terms, are too gruesome to describe. I still can't get one shot, where the king stabs the eye of a particularly nasty human-demon, out of my head - it was that grisly. Meanwhile, the king's ear-splitting yells and incessant spitting-in-the-face antics seem constantly in danger of driving his followers into raging madness. Instead, they get more violent by the minute, choosing to break into demented laughs every time they seem likely to be overrun.
The appearance of horrendously mutated and unpleasantly disfigured humans and all sorts of other creatures is something of a fashion in the movie. And some of the shots showing exactly how the 300 warriors enthusiastically butcher all of their adversaries, in very graphic terms, are too gruesome to describe. I still can't get one shot, where the king stabs the eye of a particularly nasty human-demon, out of my head - it was that grisly. Meanwhile, the king's ear-splitting yells and incessant spitting-in-the-face antics seem constantly in danger of driving his followers into raging madness. Instead, they get more violent by the minute, choosing to break into demented laughs every time they seem likely to be overrun.
The Persian king Xerxes, looking very much like a vengeful bride and adorned with nearly ten kg of jewelery, makes some exuberant appearances too, and in fact, his sequences are among the funniest of the movie. Eventually, after an exasperating sub-plot involving the queen who is deceived with astonishing ease by a lecherous Councilor, the movie draws to a close, with the Spartans in exactly the same position that they were in at the start of the movie: on the verge of going to war with the Persians. Talk about a pointless plot.
The acting is bad, the dialogues embarrassingly childish, and the central idea of the importance of freedom is lost amidst the gallons of blood. The only area where the movie scores is the cinematography: the visuals are truly spectacular, and the graphic detail has to be seen to be believed, though that's one of the main reasons why it turns out to be so horrifyingly macabre. 300 is, quite simply, a disaster. But hey, if you can stand the gore and violence, you should definitely go for it: it will give you some really good laughs. And if you want to make your experience really memorable, watch it with around 10 of your friends; the comments will never stop.
The acting is bad, the dialogues embarrassingly childish, and the central idea of the importance of freedom is lost amidst the gallons of blood. The only area where the movie scores is the cinematography: the visuals are truly spectacular, and the graphic detail has to be seen to be believed, though that's one of the main reasons why it turns out to be so horrifyingly macabre. 300 is, quite simply, a disaster. But hey, if you can stand the gore and violence, you should definitely go for it: it will give you some really good laughs. And if you want to make your experience really memorable, watch it with around 10 of your friends; the comments will never stop.
If only there wasn't the small matter of a hundred bucks being spent entirely on joking around with your friends; normally, joking around comes free.
2 comments:
Sometimes the greatest beauty in things lies not at face value, but whats beneath that. 300 is one such film. We cannot compare it to LOTR or any of the fantasy genre based movies because very simply, it does not fit into that genre.. the makers have made people very aware of the fact that it was based on an graphic novel, which are considered rarities in the literary world. So firstly, basing a multi-million dollar movie on a graphic novel itself is very commendable step. The noir-brown hue has been most appreciated in the movie, simply because it has made the atmosphere of the movie as unique as it could have been. Now about the 'Spartans' overdose, I would have to agree that the war cries and the constant chanting of 'Sparta' and 'Spartan' were overdone. But again you have to take into consideration the theme of the movie..300 vs 1 million...these 300 have to be tough, hot-headed, foolishly blinded by rage SOBs. And most of the actors have played that part with a zeal..and having seen most of the epic movies i.e. all 3 parts of LOTR, Troy etc etc.. the one thing that blew my mind about the action sequences was the unbelievably sharp and crisp camera work. Cameras rotating at the speed of light and yet making sure that not one bit of the action is missed. This is especially evident in the scene where the Commander's son(dont remember the name) is killed. The action sequence preceding this scene was the single best action sequence i have seen in ANY epic movie(and most people will agree with me on this). The gore in the movie was something that took me aback, but at the same time was handled so well that it didn't take your focus off the actual actions. One more thing that stood out in this movie was the use of hard rock background music in place of the cliched dramatized orchestral music. It is something that really brings out the rawness in the action. The action sequences weren't supposed to be tasteful and fairly enough, they weren't. Talking strictly about the storyline, the actress playing Queen has played her role to a tee. Show me one epic movie where there is no hamming, and i shall consider your point valid. Some of the scenes in terms of emotion were exemplary. The scene where the Queen kills the traitor, from the moment she enters, won me over completely. When the Commander loses his son in war, the rage he displays is so real, it is almost scary. These are just a few scenes i name, because they were my favourite. But the main strength of '300' lies not in all of the above, but the actual message it delivers. Unlike other movies of its genre, where wars and battles are glorified, 300 actually shows in a very suble way that war benefits no one. Also the message triumph of human spirit over body makes you leave the cinema halls with something to think about.
actually i m in a dilemma...
after reading ur post i had made up my mind not to watch '300' even once... but this "anonymous" comment has made me think now... wat do u hv to say abt that?
shld I or shld I not???
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