If Only Plagiarism Had The Death Penalty!

I just watched the Morgan Freeman-Brad Pitt starrer Seven, or Se7en, if you will, and I've only got to say this: I could crack the suspense an hour before the climax. Now, if you've ever actually watched the movie, you'd find that hard to believe, simply because Se7en is a brilliantly executed film with a wonderfully unpredictable screenplay. In fact, it has been voted as the 38th best picture of all time by the members of www.imdb.com. So what was it that enabled my amazing little brain in arriving upon the monumental brainstorm? A dash of Sushmita Sen and Samay, that's what. The climax of the 'path-breaking' Bollywood flick, Samay, has been ripped off straight from Se7en - down to the last insignificant detail - and I actually had the horrifying misfortune of watching Samay before Se7en. So you can imagine my severe displeasure at not being able to enjoy one of the finest thrillers ever made. And no, it was no consolation at all that Brad Pitt's acting in the last scene was positively cringe-worthy.

If ever there has been an example of crossing all limits of shamelessness, then it would have to be Bollywood's blissful plagiarism of Hollywood scripts, dialogues and even costumes and sets. Sometimes the imitation is so brazenly obvious that it makes me wonder how all the supposedly blood-sucking lawyers of America haven't already set up base in India, firing lawsuits by the minute and giving sleepless nights to every 'creative' Bollywood filmmaker. And this, from an industry that prides itself on its 'culture' and 'difference'. Sorry Bollywood, you're just about as creative or artistically accomplished as Mike Tyson. Maybe even less. Embarrassingly, we have actually come to the point that every time the audience watches a movie with even a remotely intelligent story, they start hunting for the 'inspiration' that must necessarily have made possible the imaginative flair of the director. And for the biggest movie-making industry in the world, that should be totally, obscenely mortifying; only, it isn't, at least not yet.

The astonishing thing is that the 'inspiration' habit doesn't just afflict the B-grade flilmmakers; most of the highly respected directors and scriptwriters of Bollywood have been known to 'pay their own tributes' to a plethora of Hollywood blockbusters. Vikram Bhatt, who seems to have made a living out of renting DVDs of Hollywood flicks, once made a staggeringly immodest Deewane Hue Paagal that was an out-and-out rip-off of There's Something About Mary. I must admit that watching Deewane Hue Paagal was my most embarrassing experience with Bollywood, even worse than watching horrors like Jaani Dushman or Rudraksh. Ek Ajnabee featured a very haggard Arjun Rampal with a weird dressing sense and a rocking dance number, but that was just about the only thing it didn't have in common with Denzel Washington's Man On Fire. Even the 'great' Amitabh Bachchan, who is so often referred to as India's answer to Marlon Brando, or maybe even Gregory Peck, Clint Eastwood and Tom Cruise, unabashedly tried to imitate every single expression that the wonderful Washington managed to put on his face. Which is just as well, considering that we'd have been calling Bachchan India's answer to Denzel Washington too, if Washington had only been a little more popular. Abbas-Mustan, that delightful director duo, are another pair of experts at turning Hollywood scripts into insufferable Bollywood melodramas, somehow managing to fit in cruel mothers-in-law and conniving over-the-top super-villains into psychological thrillers. Humraaz, Ajnabee and Aitraaz are just a few examples. And just to show that this 'inspiration' culture is a wholly acceptable part of Bollywood, even pioneers like Ram Gopal Verma and Sanjay Leela Bhansali have resorted to stealing ideas from Hollywood.

The thing that troubles me most about this mad abyss of disgraceful travesties is that Bollywood filmmakers don't seem to realize that their thievery can some day cost them big time. After all, it's only a matter of time before someone in Hollywood takes note of this shamelessness and decides to set things right. And since we've so proudly been declaring to the world how much money Bollywood films are grossing in the UK and the US of late, I'm guessing the storm of indignation and some very expensive lawsuits is not too far away. Until then, Bollywood, steal away! It's your privileged birthright! And thank God I had the sense not to watch Chocolate; I could actually watch the brilliant The Usual Suspects without having the feeling of disgusted fury simmering within me the whole time. And while I'm talking about being thankful, let's also give thanks that we have occasional gems like Lage Raho Munnabhai, Dor and Bluffmaster (although I'm not entirely sure how clean the last one is) to reassure us that all hope is not yet lost.