A Tournament with many Losers

As the Aussie juggernaut, no wait, I'll have to rephrase that - 'juggernaut' is really quite a horrible cliche; so, as the Aussie missile tank cruised towards a thoroughly wondrous third successive World Cup triumph, the predictable SMS's of dejection and doom began doing the rounds. "These Aussies are invincible", went the more obvious ones, but there were some gems around too, like "Australia should be given a wild card entry into the final for all future World Cups so that we'll have to watch only one miserable Australia match" or "They should rename the World Cup the 'Australian Open' or the 'Aussie Invitation Trophy'". I quite like the idea of giving a different name to the World Cup. But I suppose the ICC might not be be too keen on giving up the the uneasy prefix 'ICC' attached to the name. Honestly though, the prefix actually sounds quite embarrassing now, after the utterly disgraceful mess that the officials somehow managed to create at the end and the torpid yet autocratic organisation of the tournament in general. I don't think there can be any worse indignity for the ICC than some people labeling this the worst World Cup ever. But we'll get to that later.

The final in itself was yet another damning indictment of the very wide gulf between Australia and the rest of the cricketing nations. Sri Lanka are no pushovers; their bowling attack is actually better than Australia's, and they've got some fantastic firepower in their batting. But their greatest strength is the wonderful sense of camaraderie and enthusiasm amongst the team that has been largely attributed to Mahela Jayawardane's astute leadership. All of this was, however, brought to a dismal naught by Adam Gilchrist's truly fearsome knock. There have been calls for his head by some former Australian cricketers considering his rather poor form in the last 6 months, but the fact remains that a Gilchrist on the rampage is far more worrying for an opposition captain than anything that Matthew Hayden or Ricky Ponting can come up with. This may sound sacrilegious to some, but I do believe that after Shane Warne, Gilchrist has been the most special payer of this utterly dominating Australian team. And history will remember him so too; if he retires now, I scarcely think any farewell by any cricketer can top what Gilchrist managed yesterday.

The Sri Lankans did, of course, keep interest alive in the match fairly long; Jayasuriya was at his slashing best, and Sangakkara kept unfurling shots of the most delectable order, almost as though he was hell-bent on winning the unwinnable battle of the wicket-keeper batsmen. Glory for Sri Lanka was not to be though, thanks to some steady Aussie bowling and the permutations of the very confusing and at times very unfair Duckworth-Lewis system. At the end of 33 overs, the Sri Lankans found themselves at 206 for 7, needing another 63 runs to win off 18 balls. A done and dusted game, surely. There was also the small matter of the ground being in near pitch darkness because of the heavy cloud cover. So the umpires offered the light to the batsmen, and the Sri Lankans took off, which was not altogether surprising given that Shaun Tait was lurking around the corner. And this was the beginning of the most embarrassing farce ever witnessed in a match of such significance. The Australian players dissolved in ecstatic celebrations, the scorecard flashed out 'Congrats Australia!', the ground staff began preparations for assembling the presentation stand, the Aussie fans embarked on their typically rumbustious rejoicing, and then Aleem Dar decided to have a bit of fun with the rule-book, going up to a delirious Ponting to inform him, quite like a stern parent would admonish a misbehaving child, that the match was not over yet! Dar then proceeded to shoo off the staff making preparations for the presentation, ordered Glenn McGrath to put the stump that he had yanked out in jubilation back in its place and decided, after talks with the two captains, to resume play on the agreement that Australia would only employ slow bowlers. The looks on the faces of the Australian players said it all. So back came Lasith Malinga and Chaminda Vaas to take guard against Michael Clarke, and everyone who was watching was quite sure that Aleem Dar, and perhaps even Steve Bucknor and Rudi Koertzen had lost their minds. Apparently, the umpires were convinced that the Lankan tailenders facing 3 overs of gentle spin bowling in a hopelessly lost cause would bring thrills of the most electrifying kind imaginable to the millions of viewers. Either that, or they really did forget the rule that a match could be ended by the Duckworth-Lewis system once the minimum 20 overs a side had been bowled, and that there was absolutely no need to resume the match the next day to play out the 3 overs. The match referee, at any rate, wants us to believe that it was a simple matter of poor memory that caused such an indescribably horrendous farce. Mark Nichols, the TV commentator, went nearly apoplectic with rage and outrage at the remarkably deranged behaviour of the officials. He wasn't the only one.

So was this the worst World Cup ever? The tragic murder of the Pakistani coach Bob Woolmer bang in the middle of the tournament certainly makes a very strong case for that kind of statement. Then, of course, the sheer number of one-sided games right till the very end of the tournament tilts the balance even further. The security was inadequate, the attendance at the grounds poor, and even nature was not on the tournament's side, with many games being affected by rain. Captains complained thunderously about the poor training facilities in the Caribbean, and the crowds complained about nearly everything, right from the high ticket prices to the ICC's ridiculous restrictions on the weapons of mass destruction that are musical instruments, and the shockingly dangerous Mexican wave. Moreover, there was never really any competitive tension in the tournament, what with Australia reducing everything that came in their way to pitiable dust.The rest of the teams, left to merely squabble amongst themselves like a pack of hyenas and identify the team least likely to be humiliated by Australia, often employed petty tactics like deliberately 'resting' their premier players against Australia in the hope that their confidence wouldn't be shattered by the walloping they were sure to receive at the hands of Ponting & Co, which only resulted in even more one-sided matches. Phew, the list of negatives doesn't seem to end.

Sure, there were a few unforgettable moments to savour. Lasith Malinga's 4-wickets-in-4-balls burst was a truly magnificent spectacle, as was Herschelle Gibbs's astonishing 6-sixes-in-an-over butchery. Inzamam-ul-Haq bid a tearful farewell to the one-day game after Pakistan's rather humiliating early exit, and Glenn McGrath finished his international cricket career like only an Australian cricketer can, with jaw-dropping success, clutching the Player of the Tournament award and surrounded by euphoric teammates. But perhaps the most enduring and endearing moment of the World Cup will remain Brian Lara's farewell lap around the Kensington Oval ground at the end of his last international match followed by a sensationally regal retirement speech, coming at the heels of yet another inglorious performance by his team. There was never anything even remotely inglorious about Lara though, and he made sure that his end will remain forever etched vividly in every cricket follower's mind with a single line, "Did I entertain?". There are many who will testify that they never saw a more passionate response given to a cricketer than the rousing reply given to Lara's query, but there are also some who will admit that they couldn't stop the tears at a moment so poignant and evocative. Lara was special, right till the end.

After analyzing all the pros and cons, I'll have to agree - this was the worst World Cup ever. The ICC should have mass sackings for the excruciatingly long debacle that they thrust upon the cricketing world. Well, as long as I'm wishing for impossible things, I may as well wish for Lara to come out of retirement. Or for Sourav Ganguly to go into retirement. Or for Kevin Pietersen to go back to South Africa where his talents will find much more support than in the woeful team that is England. Or for Sony Max never to telecast any cricket match again. Ok, I'll stop now.

Red Alert! Close Matches in Danger of Extinction!

Graeme Smith has got plenty of explaining to do. For the past one year or so, he's talked about his team's 'strength of character', he's talked about the new brand of cricket adopted by his team which is both 'brave' and effective, and he's talked about how his team ruthlessly 'demolished' their chokers' tag. He's pretty much exhausted the supply of English words in trying to showcase the supposedly gritty and combative nature of his team, which we all expected would find dazzling expression in the semi-final against Australia. We expected a close match; heck, we deserved a close match. If only someone had told that to Ponting and his men. One look at the steely stares on the faces of nearly all the Aussies as they took to the field was enough to remind us that the phrase 'close match' doesn't figure in the mindset of any Australian cricketer at the moment, not even remotely. What followed was 40 overs of the most cruel and demoralizing walloping imaginable, even if the scorecard doesn't say so. Graeme Smith owes us a semi-final. Perhaps he should spend less time with a dictionary and more with a trainer, preferably a therapist, because this South African team needs help.

People have found it hard to come up with new adjectives to describe the mind-numbing dominance of Australia thus far in the World Cup. Australia haven't just beaten all of their opponents on their merry way to a fourth consecutive World Cup final appearance; they've totally, mercilessly and brutally pulverized them. Some people have criticized the 'run for cover' tactics of Stephen Fleming and Mahela Jayawardane in shielding their best weapons, Shane Bond for New Zealand, and Muttiah Muralitharan, Chaminda Vaas and Lasith Malinga for Sri Lanka, in their respective matches against the Aussies. But in all fairness to these two fine gentlemen, they had to think of something to pull a fast one on the rampaging juggernaut that is the Australian team, hadn't they? It's another matter that these questionable but potentially-effective tactics resulted in two crushing defeats for the innovative captains. Perhaps they were expecting to be pummeled in any case. Ponting would whole-heartedly endorse the latter view, and with a broad, supercilious smile to boot.

Australia are currently on a 21-match winning streak in World Cups that stretches back to that glorious semi-final (ah! the days!) against South Africa 8 years ago. Erm, why haven't the rest of the teams died of shame yet? Three batsmen of Australia have scored over 400 runs this tournament; two of them have scored above 500. Three of their bowlers have taken more than 20 wickets, which is a stunning statistic no matter how you look at it. They've piled up more than 300 in every match that they've batted first, and bowled out the opposition inside 50 overs in all matches save for the one against Bangladesh which was a 22-over game. Every single thing that Ponting has touched in the last 6 weeks has turned to gold - when Symonds was inured, Brad Hodge filled his shoes and smashed a blistering century against Holland; when Symonds returned he promptly made a brutal half-century against England. The reserve bowlers - Mitchell Johnson and Stuart Clark, haven't warranted even a side-ways glance, so good have been the frontline ones. When Glenn McGrath has opened the bowling, he's routinely snaffled a bunch of bemused opposition batsmen before you could say 'accuracy' or even 'retirement'; when he's bowled first change, he's twice picked up a wicket in his first over. Mike Hussey, that ridiculously prolific batsman-machine, hasn't had to arrive at the crease before the 30th over in a single match, which renders his modest numbers so far almost completely insignificant. Has there ever been a more imperious performance by any team in any tournament ever? Honestly, if Australia go on to lose the final, it will probably be the greatest injustice in the history of the sport.

Mahela Jayawardane and his band of infectiously enthusiastic men will, however, have other ideas. Everyone who saw Jayawardane's innings of 115 against the Kiwis has raved and ranted about the incredible polish and awesome effectiveness of his batting. He's an extraordinary leader, that man, and it may just be possible for him to dig out some massive reserves of pluck and spur his talented team to come up with a truly special performance and upstage the Aussies. For that to happen, however, a certain Muttiah Muralitharan will have to be at his magical best, spinning out outrageous offbreaks and bewildering doosras in generous doses. And of course, the rest of the team will have to push the boundaries of their endurance and stamina to the very farthest, and put on a show both heroic and epic in equal measure. Or, they can just hope for Australia to have a stunningly horrible day. The frightening thing is that even if all these fascinating things happen, Australia may still emerge winners. Talk about depressing odds.

A Surprisingly Competitive World Cup?

I need some pills to counter my depression, and fast. Just days after I had so confidently declared in one of my posts that I did not expect Australia's shocking form slump to last more than a couple of games, I have the stickiest egg on my face with Australia having crashed to another humiliating defeat against New Zealand. What on earth is going on with these guys? I thought the second match, in which they failed to defend a colossal score of 336, was rock bottom. They couldn't possibly have done any worse from that point. But guess what, they've actually managed to do just that. A team cannot lose after putting up 346 runs on the board and then having the opposition reeling at 41/4. A team like Australia definitely cannot lose from that position. And it is simply unthinkable for a team like Australia to lose from such a bullish position just two days after having suffered the ignominy of failing to defend 336 and four days after a 10-wicket pasting. Yet, Australia have done the impossible. It's not the first time in the last 10 years that they've done that. The only difference is that this time, they've done the wrong kind of impossible. Where can I get some of those darned pills?

The slimmest of silver linings that has emerged from this travesty of a series is that the Australian cricketing heads now have a clear indication of which player to keep as far away from captaincy as George W. Bush is from intelligence. Mike Hussey may be an astonishingly effective batsman in both formats of the game, but he is a terrible, terrible captain. I'm almost certain that if Ricky Ponting had been in charge in the series, Australia would not have had to face so much embarrassment, and they definitely wouldn't have lost two consecutive games after having posted 330-plus scores. Okay, I know that it was actually Ponting who was at the helm in that bewildering 400-run Johannesburg game almost a year ago, but really, that match was a freak happening, a once-in-a-generation event that doesn't afflict an ordinary, fairly efficient captain too often. Let's face it, Hussey is remarkably daft as a skipper. There may be a chance that this swift judgment, taking into consideration only his woefully unflattering yet short record as captain, is a bit harsh on Hussey , but there's an even greater chance that the Aussie bosses will never entrust him with the role again. Which is why I believe that this particular stat of Hussey's striking cricketing career will probably remain forever horribly tainted.

So where do the Aussies go from here? The good news for them is that Ponting and Michael Clarke are almost certain to be fully fit for their opening World Cup match, and considering the rollicking time their relatively inexperienced replacements have been having in their absence, I think they've got the batting department fully covered. Their worry, and a very grave one at that, is the bowling. McGrath is finally showing signs of his age, Brett Lee has only a '50-50 chance' of being fit for the Cup, and Bracken has lost a fair bit of his zip from last year. Meanwhile, Mitchell Johnson and Shaun Tait almost seem to be drooling with excitement at the prospect of playing in an Australian side, and their performances have shown a correspondingly alarming dip. The spin department is almost non-existent, with Brad Hogg and Cameron White having emerged as just a shade better than part-time. And Shane Watson, I believe, should be kicked out of the team faster than you can say 'all-rounder'. The man is NOT an all-rounder - he can bat a bit and he can bowl a bit, but he scores way too few runs and gives away way too many to qualify as acceptable in either department. So basically, things don't look too good for defending targets. I guess Ponting's best bet is to field every time he wins the toss. He might even hope to be outrageously lucky and win the toss every match. I, for one, am fervently hoping that happens.

In all the joy, shock and despair (for me, at least) at Australia's downslide, people seem to have forgotten the Kiwis. The fact that they dared to rest Shane Bond and Daniel Vettori for the final match says a lot about their confidence right now. And the fact that they managed to win despite that says a lot about their ability and form. They may be colorless, they may be awfully boring, and they may not have a single star among their ranks (I don't think Bond qualifies as one - he plays far too seldom for that label) but they've got a lot of gumption, and ever so often, gumption is all that matters. So you never know, with India, South Africa and England peaking at just the right time, Pakistan being, as always, the unpredictable potential scene-stealers, Australia seeking to desperately salvage some of their battered ego, West Indies being the animated hosts and New Zealand on an intoxicated high, this might turn out to be a cracking World Cup, pathetic minnows and all. Throw in the fact that it is going to be the last one-day tournament for Brian Lara and the last World Cup for Sachin Tendulkar, and this might just end up as the best World Cup ever. Keeping my fingers crossed.

Lo And Behold, Australia Can Be Pathetic Too!

I've always thought there's a limit to how ridiculous things can get. Sure there can be a few moments of madness here and some perverted absurdity there, but before you know it, normalcy is restored and the world is at peace. If only this statement were true. If only we lived in a perfect world. I'm sorry, but I'm a bit shaken up by Australia's shocking loss to New Zealand today. A World Champion side does not rack up 336 belligerent runs and end up losing the match. And don't even get me started on the stupefying 10-wicket loss two days ago. Seriously, how ridiculous can things get?

Mike Hussey, that admirably gritty batsman-wonder who has been handed the captaincy in the absence of Ponting and Gilchrist suddenly finds himself in a Flintoff-like position of having to answer unanswerable questions about the less-than-feisty performances being put in by his players. Thank God he doesn't find the need to put on an about-to-break-into-miserable-sobs expression like Flintoff did for much of the past 3 months. But he's been no confident charmer either; it's not the easiest job in the world to explain away your team's woeful form, and Hussey is learning this the hard way. People might point out that five of Australia's seven key ODI players have been out of the side but there's been a telling lack of fight amongst the Australians in the last 3 games, and that's a worrying sign. In the past, Australia have always stuck doggedly to their much-maligned rotation policy and they've always managed to come up trumps in spite of missing key players. This time, however, they haven't even looked close to winning. So is this the beginning of the end of a glorious era or is it a simple matter of the players being exhausted, both physically and mentally, from the effort of giving England the pounding of a lifetime? Personally, I'd say the latter, particularly since we've been hearing the 'beginning of the end' cliche about this mighty Australian side for about 4 years now, without any noticeable vindication. But if Australia have to maintain their magnificent World Cup run they'll need Ponting, Gilchrist, Symonds, Lee and Clarke to be back in full fitness and form. Oh yes they will. The new No. 1 ODI side in the world, South Africa, will definitely not be trembling with fear at the prospect of facing an Australian side without any of these players.

It's funny how quirky fortune can get. Just as Australia are being besieged with freak injuries and poor form at the most horribly wrong time imaginable, India seem to be nearing peak form with a resounding series victory over Sri Lanka. Ganguly has emerged literally from the ashes like the proverbial phoenix and is once again the imposing one-day force that he was a couple of years ago. Dravid and Dhoni have regained their silken touch and brutally violent force respectively, and the bowlers, particularly Zaheer Khan and Ajit Agarkar, have started to dismantle opposition line-ups with something of a regularity. The most crucial boost to India's World Cup plans, however, has been the return to form of Yuvraj Singh, who is probably the most underrated ODI batsman in the world. A string of spectacularly bitter and disorienting losses in his absence has probably taught everyone just how important Yuvraj is to India's one-day plans, which is why his brilliant unbeaten 95 yesterday would have brought considerable joy to every Indian supporter. Probable world champions? I don't know about that yet, but things are certainly looking bright for a 'good World Cup', as Dravid unwisely put it a few days ago (surely any team would want to win the World Cup and not just have a good World Cup?).

And while we're talking of people being unwise, how far can we really be from the Pakistan cricket team? The latest 'thing' to hit Pakistan cricket (I guess all the problems that keep pounding Pakistani cricket can hardly be described as 'scandals' anymore; they're much too ordinary and commonplace for a word as scandalous as 'scandal') is Shoaib Akhtar's allegation that the coach Bob Woolmer abused him racially. I just don't get these guys - why on earth would a bunch of players and officials perpetually keep trying so hard to destroy the morale and spirit of the team? I guess that's one of the many mysteries of cricket - probably just as mysterious as Pakistan's reputation to overcome all of their demons and put in surprisingly brilliant performances on the field. It's a mysterious, mysterious game. Let's have a toast to that!

England's Cup Of Woes Spilleth Over

Another Ashes Test, another humiliating defeat for England. The trend that had been snapped so dramatically in last year's Ashes series has been restored, much to the chagrin of England's very expressive media and the tenacious Barmy Army. To say that I am deliriously happy with the result would be an understatement. I have always been a huge fan of the Australian cricket team, and it would not be too far from the truth to say that I was probably as passionate about Ponting's men extracting revenge from England for last year's aberration as Ponting's men themselves. Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a bit here, but what I'm trying to say is that I support the Australian team more fiercely than a person supports his home team, which may sound strange to some people, but sounds perfectly rational to me. Australia are, after all, the best team in the world, and by quite a long mile at that.

England's woes could not have been better expressed than with the first ball delivered by Steve Harmison, which momentarily caused Andrew Flintoff (who was standing at second slip) to add yet another job to his burgeoning list of duties-that of a wicket-keeper. So much has been written about that atrocious wide that it'll probably go down as one of the most famous, or infamous, if you will, deliveries in the history of cricket. Understandably, the media, especially the English one made known their disappointment very eloquently. Things went steadily downhill for England from that point, and Glenn McGrath's efficient spell must have only made them quake in their shoes at the prospect of facing their old nemesis at his accurate best for as long as four more Tests. Fifteen months of hysterical joy among England's fans were wiped out in a matter of two days. And then, wondrously, inexplicably, Ricky Ponting chose not to enforce the follow-on in spite of having a neat lead of 445 runs. 'He's going for slow torture', said some, while others, presumably English optimists, said 'the rains will rescue England!'. The rains, however, did no such thing as rescuing England, and though Pietersen and company did bat positively in the final innings, it was just not enough. And nothing will ever be enough, believe me, if Australia choose to play the perfect cricket that they played over the course of the five days. In the midst of all the England-bashing, people seem to have forgotten just how clinical Australia's performance during the Test was. Ricky Ponting was magnificent (I'm losing count of the centuries he's scoring) while the bowlers were amazingly unstoppable on an unresponsive pitch.

The English fans might point out that England lost the first Test comprehensively in the last Ashes too, but bounced back most stoically to clinch the series, and that they're sure to do it again. Now I'm not entirely discounting this possibility, but frankly, I don't see that happening twice in two years against a team like Australia, particularly since they're playing Down Under. And if Ricky Ponting's reaction after reaching his hundred is anything to go by, then the Aussies are steeled and pumped and determined and a whole of a lot of other adjectives to crush the English and regain their cherished prize. If they do manage that, the thing I'll be looking most forward to would be the reactions of the grieving English media.