A Tournament with many Losers

As the Aussie juggernaut, no wait, I'll have to rephrase that - 'juggernaut' is really quite a horrible cliche; so, as the Aussie missile tank cruised towards a thoroughly wondrous third successive World Cup triumph, the predictable SMS's of dejection and doom began doing the rounds. "These Aussies are invincible", went the more obvious ones, but there were some gems around too, like "Australia should be given a wild card entry into the final for all future World Cups so that we'll have to watch only one miserable Australia match" or "They should rename the World Cup the 'Australian Open' or the 'Aussie Invitation Trophy'". I quite like the idea of giving a different name to the World Cup. But I suppose the ICC might not be be too keen on giving up the the uneasy prefix 'ICC' attached to the name. Honestly though, the prefix actually sounds quite embarrassing now, after the utterly disgraceful mess that the officials somehow managed to create at the end and the torpid yet autocratic organisation of the tournament in general. I don't think there can be any worse indignity for the ICC than some people labeling this the worst World Cup ever. But we'll get to that later.

The final in itself was yet another damning indictment of the very wide gulf between Australia and the rest of the cricketing nations. Sri Lanka are no pushovers; their bowling attack is actually better than Australia's, and they've got some fantastic firepower in their batting. But their greatest strength is the wonderful sense of camaraderie and enthusiasm amongst the team that has been largely attributed to Mahela Jayawardane's astute leadership. All of this was, however, brought to a dismal naught by Adam Gilchrist's truly fearsome knock. There have been calls for his head by some former Australian cricketers considering his rather poor form in the last 6 months, but the fact remains that a Gilchrist on the rampage is far more worrying for an opposition captain than anything that Matthew Hayden or Ricky Ponting can come up with. This may sound sacrilegious to some, but I do believe that after Shane Warne, Gilchrist has been the most special payer of this utterly dominating Australian team. And history will remember him so too; if he retires now, I scarcely think any farewell by any cricketer can top what Gilchrist managed yesterday.

The Sri Lankans did, of course, keep interest alive in the match fairly long; Jayasuriya was at his slashing best, and Sangakkara kept unfurling shots of the most delectable order, almost as though he was hell-bent on winning the unwinnable battle of the wicket-keeper batsmen. Glory for Sri Lanka was not to be though, thanks to some steady Aussie bowling and the permutations of the very confusing and at times very unfair Duckworth-Lewis system. At the end of 33 overs, the Sri Lankans found themselves at 206 for 7, needing another 63 runs to win off 18 balls. A done and dusted game, surely. There was also the small matter of the ground being in near pitch darkness because of the heavy cloud cover. So the umpires offered the light to the batsmen, and the Sri Lankans took off, which was not altogether surprising given that Shaun Tait was lurking around the corner. And this was the beginning of the most embarrassing farce ever witnessed in a match of such significance. The Australian players dissolved in ecstatic celebrations, the scorecard flashed out 'Congrats Australia!', the ground staff began preparations for assembling the presentation stand, the Aussie fans embarked on their typically rumbustious rejoicing, and then Aleem Dar decided to have a bit of fun with the rule-book, going up to a delirious Ponting to inform him, quite like a stern parent would admonish a misbehaving child, that the match was not over yet! Dar then proceeded to shoo off the staff making preparations for the presentation, ordered Glenn McGrath to put the stump that he had yanked out in jubilation back in its place and decided, after talks with the two captains, to resume play on the agreement that Australia would only employ slow bowlers. The looks on the faces of the Australian players said it all. So back came Lasith Malinga and Chaminda Vaas to take guard against Michael Clarke, and everyone who was watching was quite sure that Aleem Dar, and perhaps even Steve Bucknor and Rudi Koertzen had lost their minds. Apparently, the umpires were convinced that the Lankan tailenders facing 3 overs of gentle spin bowling in a hopelessly lost cause would bring thrills of the most electrifying kind imaginable to the millions of viewers. Either that, or they really did forget the rule that a match could be ended by the Duckworth-Lewis system once the minimum 20 overs a side had been bowled, and that there was absolutely no need to resume the match the next day to play out the 3 overs. The match referee, at any rate, wants us to believe that it was a simple matter of poor memory that caused such an indescribably horrendous farce. Mark Nichols, the TV commentator, went nearly apoplectic with rage and outrage at the remarkably deranged behaviour of the officials. He wasn't the only one.

So was this the worst World Cup ever? The tragic murder of the Pakistani coach Bob Woolmer bang in the middle of the tournament certainly makes a very strong case for that kind of statement. Then, of course, the sheer number of one-sided games right till the very end of the tournament tilts the balance even further. The security was inadequate, the attendance at the grounds poor, and even nature was not on the tournament's side, with many games being affected by rain. Captains complained thunderously about the poor training facilities in the Caribbean, and the crowds complained about nearly everything, right from the high ticket prices to the ICC's ridiculous restrictions on the weapons of mass destruction that are musical instruments, and the shockingly dangerous Mexican wave. Moreover, there was never really any competitive tension in the tournament, what with Australia reducing everything that came in their way to pitiable dust.The rest of the teams, left to merely squabble amongst themselves like a pack of hyenas and identify the team least likely to be humiliated by Australia, often employed petty tactics like deliberately 'resting' their premier players against Australia in the hope that their confidence wouldn't be shattered by the walloping they were sure to receive at the hands of Ponting & Co, which only resulted in even more one-sided matches. Phew, the list of negatives doesn't seem to end.

Sure, there were a few unforgettable moments to savour. Lasith Malinga's 4-wickets-in-4-balls burst was a truly magnificent spectacle, as was Herschelle Gibbs's astonishing 6-sixes-in-an-over butchery. Inzamam-ul-Haq bid a tearful farewell to the one-day game after Pakistan's rather humiliating early exit, and Glenn McGrath finished his international cricket career like only an Australian cricketer can, with jaw-dropping success, clutching the Player of the Tournament award and surrounded by euphoric teammates. But perhaps the most enduring and endearing moment of the World Cup will remain Brian Lara's farewell lap around the Kensington Oval ground at the end of his last international match followed by a sensationally regal retirement speech, coming at the heels of yet another inglorious performance by his team. There was never anything even remotely inglorious about Lara though, and he made sure that his end will remain forever etched vividly in every cricket follower's mind with a single line, "Did I entertain?". There are many who will testify that they never saw a more passionate response given to a cricketer than the rousing reply given to Lara's query, but there are also some who will admit that they couldn't stop the tears at a moment so poignant and evocative. Lara was special, right till the end.

After analyzing all the pros and cons, I'll have to agree - this was the worst World Cup ever. The ICC should have mass sackings for the excruciatingly long debacle that they thrust upon the cricketing world. Well, as long as I'm wishing for impossible things, I may as well wish for Lara to come out of retirement. Or for Sourav Ganguly to go into retirement. Or for Kevin Pietersen to go back to South Africa where his talents will find much more support than in the woeful team that is England. Or for Sony Max never to telecast any cricket match again. Ok, I'll stop now.

Red Alert! Close Matches in Danger of Extinction!

Graeme Smith has got plenty of explaining to do. For the past one year or so, he's talked about his team's 'strength of character', he's talked about the new brand of cricket adopted by his team which is both 'brave' and effective, and he's talked about how his team ruthlessly 'demolished' their chokers' tag. He's pretty much exhausted the supply of English words in trying to showcase the supposedly gritty and combative nature of his team, which we all expected would find dazzling expression in the semi-final against Australia. We expected a close match; heck, we deserved a close match. If only someone had told that to Ponting and his men. One look at the steely stares on the faces of nearly all the Aussies as they took to the field was enough to remind us that the phrase 'close match' doesn't figure in the mindset of any Australian cricketer at the moment, not even remotely. What followed was 40 overs of the most cruel and demoralizing walloping imaginable, even if the scorecard doesn't say so. Graeme Smith owes us a semi-final. Perhaps he should spend less time with a dictionary and more with a trainer, preferably a therapist, because this South African team needs help.

People have found it hard to come up with new adjectives to describe the mind-numbing dominance of Australia thus far in the World Cup. Australia haven't just beaten all of their opponents on their merry way to a fourth consecutive World Cup final appearance; they've totally, mercilessly and brutally pulverized them. Some people have criticized the 'run for cover' tactics of Stephen Fleming and Mahela Jayawardane in shielding their best weapons, Shane Bond for New Zealand, and Muttiah Muralitharan, Chaminda Vaas and Lasith Malinga for Sri Lanka, in their respective matches against the Aussies. But in all fairness to these two fine gentlemen, they had to think of something to pull a fast one on the rampaging juggernaut that is the Australian team, hadn't they? It's another matter that these questionable but potentially-effective tactics resulted in two crushing defeats for the innovative captains. Perhaps they were expecting to be pummeled in any case. Ponting would whole-heartedly endorse the latter view, and with a broad, supercilious smile to boot.

Australia are currently on a 21-match winning streak in World Cups that stretches back to that glorious semi-final (ah! the days!) against South Africa 8 years ago. Erm, why haven't the rest of the teams died of shame yet? Three batsmen of Australia have scored over 400 runs this tournament; two of them have scored above 500. Three of their bowlers have taken more than 20 wickets, which is a stunning statistic no matter how you look at it. They've piled up more than 300 in every match that they've batted first, and bowled out the opposition inside 50 overs in all matches save for the one against Bangladesh which was a 22-over game. Every single thing that Ponting has touched in the last 6 weeks has turned to gold - when Symonds was inured, Brad Hodge filled his shoes and smashed a blistering century against Holland; when Symonds returned he promptly made a brutal half-century against England. The reserve bowlers - Mitchell Johnson and Stuart Clark, haven't warranted even a side-ways glance, so good have been the frontline ones. When Glenn McGrath has opened the bowling, he's routinely snaffled a bunch of bemused opposition batsmen before you could say 'accuracy' or even 'retirement'; when he's bowled first change, he's twice picked up a wicket in his first over. Mike Hussey, that ridiculously prolific batsman-machine, hasn't had to arrive at the crease before the 30th over in a single match, which renders his modest numbers so far almost completely insignificant. Has there ever been a more imperious performance by any team in any tournament ever? Honestly, if Australia go on to lose the final, it will probably be the greatest injustice in the history of the sport.

Mahela Jayawardane and his band of infectiously enthusiastic men will, however, have other ideas. Everyone who saw Jayawardane's innings of 115 against the Kiwis has raved and ranted about the incredible polish and awesome effectiveness of his batting. He's an extraordinary leader, that man, and it may just be possible for him to dig out some massive reserves of pluck and spur his talented team to come up with a truly special performance and upstage the Aussies. For that to happen, however, a certain Muttiah Muralitharan will have to be at his magical best, spinning out outrageous offbreaks and bewildering doosras in generous doses. And of course, the rest of the team will have to push the boundaries of their endurance and stamina to the very farthest, and put on a show both heroic and epic in equal measure. Or, they can just hope for Australia to have a stunningly horrible day. The frightening thing is that even if all these fascinating things happen, Australia may still emerge winners. Talk about depressing odds.

Batting Elegance: Soon to be a Lost Art?

When the brilliant fade away, the mediocrity of mortals begins to look distasteful. The Super 8 match between the West Indies and South Africa was, perhaps, a lesson in the importance of discipline and efficiency in modern one-day cricket, but it was also a bleak reminder of how much poorer the game will be when the current vogue of robust ball-thwacking inevitably pushes the virtuosity of the artists into the sidelines. Or one particular artist, to be more precise. We all knew that Brian Lara was going to retire from the one-day game after the World Cup - everyone was sad about that; but to see him confirm it with such pitiable defeat written all over his face was positively depressing. The most painful thing about the entire episode was not the fact that Lara's team got more insipid as the tournament progressed or that the captaincy skills of Lara himself suddenly and alarmingly reached rock-bottom; what was most sad was that cricket, at least one-day cricket, is on its way to saying goodbye to one of its most celebrated maestros ever with so little grace.

I'm not talking here, of course, of any lack of respect on the part of any cricketing figure towards Lara; the people all around have been most courteous and deferential, and rightly so. What I'm talking about is the manner in which physicality and brutal strokeplay are rapidly taking over the game. South Africa's explosion towards the end of the match may have had quite a lot to do with Lara's potentially-legendary (and not in the right way) decision to delay the third Powerplay till the 45th over, but it was the ruthless savagery of Mark Boucher and Herschelle Gibbs that effectively ended the game as a contest. And this has been the trend for quite some time now - Australia-South Africa matches are the best examples of the new cricketing dogma that power is joy, and even New Zealand have been turning to this unpleasant mantra through its McCullums and Orams. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those stuck-up purists who would rather see a batsman play out ten consecutive maidens with 'grit and patience' than hit a series of spectacular sixes. But I do believe that tearing into bowlers without the least hint of subtlety or elegance is more than a little disturbing, if not annoying. And sadly, with the exit of Lara, and the imminent retirement of Sachin Tendulkar, there won't be too many in the cricketing world to stand up to the unrelenting wave of ugly but effective ball-pounding that is threatening to turn cricket into a slower version of baseball.

Coming back to Lara, it's amazing how so many people brush off his one-day career as 'average' or 'nothing splendid' just because he's played very few games and scored no centuries in the last two and a half years. Most people tend to forget that Lara had semi-retired from the one-dayers two years ago and only returned as a regular member of the team when he was made captain. Before his hiatus, he had been as thoroughly proficient a one-day player as any, and certainly a lot more destructive in his approach and style of play than he is now. And his stats up to the year 2004 will happily confirm that. However, ever since he's entered his third stint as captain, he's largely tried to stay away from the spotlight and give his lesser-known colleagues the chance to become match-winners of their own, albeit with incredibly poor results. That the likes of Chris Gayle, Ramnaresh Sarwan, Shivnarine Chanderpaul and most infuriatingly of all, Marlon Samuels, have been unable to respond to Lara's pushes and prods (I'd perhaps leave Gayle out of this list - he was, after all, the Man of the Series in the Champions Trophy), is an apt reflection of Lara's entire cricketing life, both in Tests and one-dayers. He's never really had anyone to support, or even comprehend, his immense genius, and he has an astonishing tally of heartbreaking losses to show for that. Whether he would have been the greatest batsman of the post-Bradman era if it hadn't been for the remarkable incompetence of his teammates is perhaps too futile an argument. However, the fact that he has, in spite of the ruins around him, managed to carve out his own glittering place among the pantheons of cricketing greats is testimony to his incandescent brilliance. And besides, there's one thing that no one can ever take away from Lara - when he was on song, there wasn't a single batsman in the very long history of cricket who could match the sheer splendour of his strokeplay. Which is saying quite something.

Anyway, I think I should go back to watching the Australia-Ireland match. It's turning out to be quite ridiculously one-sided. I love supporting the Australians - it feels so much better to be rooting for guys like them instead of the appallingly pathetic West Indian team (save for Lara, of course). Ah, the Australian innings is just about to get underway, which means there'll be plenty of monstrous ball-thwacking from Hayden and Co. We'll miss you, Brian Charles Lara.

The Chastening of Chappell and other Cricketing Crises

So, Indian cricket is in serious turmoil after after a particularly appalling performance from its too-old-to-train team. The deluge of demands for mass sackings simply refuses to stop, and the bosses up at the BCCI seem completely cowed down by the frenetic outrage in all parts of the country. Familiar story? Well, not quite. For starters, the Indian team hasn't performed so poorly in a World Cup for, as has been well-documented, 28 years. This is actually quite unknown territory for the average tempestuous Indian cricket fan. More importantly however, there's the inescapable fact that Pakistan have been bounced out of the tournament in just as humiliating a manner as India (well, perhaps just a little more humiliating), they have had to deal with the added trauma of a murdered coach, and yet, the situation in Pakistan can hardly be described as anything close to tumultuous or outraged. The Pakistani players have taken the humiliation of defeat and the tragedy of death in their grieving yet composed strides, the fans let out only minor jeers at the arrival of their disgraced heroes, the Board has quietly gone ahead and appointed Younis Khan as the new captain, and all is calm and quiet, at least for now. Considering Pakistan's famed volatility, that's saying something. Frankly, in normal times, if the two loving neighbors were faced with such eerily similar situations, one would expect the uproar in Pakistan to completely overshadow any hint of commotion in India. Disturbingly, that isn't happening right now. So this distasteful episode may be a lot of things, but familiar it is not.

As every single Indian knows by now of course, Greg Chappell has resigned from the coaching job. I can't really say I'm surprised by that, but it is perhaps significant that Chappell chose to make this announcement just a day after being called a host of unsavory things by the much-derided 'seniors' of the team. 'Seniors' actually may be a misleading term here, because the only person from whom most comments seemed to have come is Sachin Tendulkar. And that is really shocking, knowing as we do how dignified and graceful Tendulkar normally is with such things. Quite frankly, most of Sachin's 'exclusive' comments to a certain newspaper made him look like an overgrown spoilt child. Chappell hadn't even named Tendulkar in his dreaded list of 'uncooperative seniors', for crying out loud. One would've expected Tendulkar to show some restraint and not be reduced to wailing about his 'commitment', 'heart', 'soul' and plenty of other dramatic qualities in reaction to a few unconfirmed rumors. And coming as this does on the heels of some very unflattering calls for retirement, Sachin's timing couldn't have been more wrong. So was Chappell's resignation hastened by Sachin's outburst? No one really knows right now (except for Chappell himself, of course), and I suspect no one will really ever know, unless Chappell decides to write an autobiography some time soon. And boy, will that be a bestseller!

To make matters even worse for the BCCI, if that were even possible, Subhash Chandra, head of Zee group, decided to have a bout of Kerry Packer-ism, and announce quite theatrically to a disbelieving media that he plans to start a parallel 'cricket league' to rival the BCCI's monopoly over cricket in India. He also declared that there'd be some Indian internationals who would be a part of this rebel league, spawning a string of excited theories about the identity of the suicidal cricketers. As things stand right now, it seems extremely unlikely that Mr. Chandra will succeed in his adventurous plans, what with all the legal troubles and the BCCI's stranglehold on everything remotely related to cricket, but the BCCI could definitely have done without this particular head sore. And I, for one, am not complaining about that. In fact, I hope hordes of rampant businessmen come out with similarly ambitious plans and force the BCCI to burn all of its funds in legally stamping out such unwanted fires. That'd serve the sorry bunch of scumbags at the BCCI right, that would.

While all of this brouhaha has been brewing, the World Cup has been chugging along serenely without its money-spinning Asian members. Australia, as usual, look set to bully their way to a third consecutive title, while New Zealand, Sri Lanka and South Africa have been notching up impressive wins in their shadow. The performances of my favorites, the West Indies, however, have been singularly disappointing, not least because Brian Lara is being unfairly made the scapegoat for all the inadequacies of his insipid team. Clearly, as I keep saying, the Caribbean doesn't deserve Lara. On a more positive note, however, England seem to be marching towards a surprise victory over Sri Lanka as I write, and that can only brighten the extremely slim chances of the West Indies reaching the semis. Hope, prayers and good performances - that's all that the Windies need to go through now. Yeah, I know, I should stop being such a hopeless optimist.

Tragedy and Then Some More Tragedy

I don't know about you, but the fact that the last week has been such a harrowing time for the ICC has certainly made me splendidly delighted. Those arrogantly untouchable bullies desperately needed to be brought down by more than a peg or two, and happily, the first round of the World Cup has just about been their worst nightmare. The one face-saving move that they could have made, which they promptly did make, was to stoically insist that things haven't yet gotten so disastrous that a cancellation of the tournament altogether was warranted. Yes, I would've almost started hopping around in uncontrolled glee at this chastening fall from grace of the ICC snobs if the extremely tragic death of Pakistan's coach Bob Woolmer hadn't been the cause of it all.

There have been very diverse reactions to the unfortunate demise of the pioneer of 'laptop cricket' - some furious, some grief stricken, but almost all horribly shocked. And the conspiracy theories began to fly around before anyone could even register the cause of the death. As of now, things stand at a poignantly murky position: it has been well and truly established that Woolmer was in fact murdered; former Pakistan players have come out with allegations that the crime was a well-plotted result of the enigmatic connections between the ICC, Pakistan cricket and bookmakers; and the Jamaican police have managed to drum up a flurry of suspicious whispers by announcing that only 'diplomatic problems' prevented them from detaining the Pakistan team in Jamaica in connection with the investigations. Just how many dreadful rumors such embarrassingly ill-advised statements are going to provoke is anybody's guess, but the stories have already started to border on the supremely ridiculous. One thing's for sure: things have now gone so bad that the terrible cliche "cricket is a gentleman's game" is never even going to cross anyone's mind in the future.

No matter how tragic Woolmer's death may have been though, the Indian cricket fan was struck by insufferable misery only after Bangladesh's not-entirely-unexpected victory over Bermuda. A lot has been said abut how fickle sub-continental fans are, which is why the seemingly never-ending stretch of bitter brickbats and, rather regrettably, some choice abuses and profanities shouldn't be wholly surprising. Along with painful disappointment, however, there has also been a sense of disbelief and incredulity about the Great Calamity among the fans. The Indian team does NOT crash out of the World Cup in the first round: that just doesn't happen. It hasn't happened in the discernible memory of anyone, at any rate - 1979 was many many years ago. For me, certainly, things do seem a bit surreal right now; I can't even begin to imagine a World Cup without India's presence for such a large chunk of the tournament. Ah well, I guess I'll just be brought back to happy reality by some strong performances by my favorites Australia and the West Indies. It feels so good to support reliable teams (Australia are, anyway). Meanwhile, we should brace ourselves for some heavy-duty slashing and chopping in the Indian team - and judging by the comments that have been morosely exchanged all over the country, there's going to be a lot of cheering at the merciless dumpings. Let's just hope there are no tears shed. Of sorrow OR joy.

Getting back to the actual cricket action, I've got to say that the Australia-South Africa match was one cracker of a match, even if it was a bit too nerve-wracking for the first half of South Africa's chase. These two teams are clearly streets ahead of the rest of the pack, and if South Africa don't manage to reach the finals this time either, as I'm predicting they won't, there'll only be yet another legend added to the 'Mysteries of South African Falling-Apart-at-Crunch-Times' collection. Maybe this is the tournament in which we'll finally know for sure just how much of Graeme Smith's aggression and apparent gumption is real and how much of it is merely pretentious/pathetic-counter-to-Aussie-arrogance. Brian Lara's West Indies, on the other hand, seem unsure as to exactly how much confidence and aggression they should be putting on display, which has resulted in three consecutive victories in the 'Group of Death' which have alternated between the furiously brilliant and the disinterestedly lacklustre. But the two teams that deserve our admiration most of all are Bangladesh and Ireland, who have ruthlessly sent the two Asian heavyweights India and Pakistan packing from the tournament. Objectively speaking, the rise of these two teams was the best thing that could have happened to the Cup, sparking, for the umpteenth time, bemused mutterings of the disgusting cliche (cricket does seem to have a lot of these, doesn't it?) 'cricket is a game of glorious uncertainties'. Seriously, if at all the ICC guys want to make themselves remotely useful, they'd do well to revamp the cricketing lexicon, it's getting more ignoble by the day.

The Million Dollar Minnow Matter

How infectious is cricket fever? Infectious enough to want to skip work and watch TV all day, if you ask me. And it's a different matter altogether that my work timings and the Caribbean match timings don't really clash. Ah well, did humankind ever need a reason to want to stay home from work? It's the same sad story with everyone - the early morning 'waking up' dread, the mid-morning dejection from looking at the perfectly useless but positively humongous pile of work, the afternoon frustration at realizing that yet another bunch of six hours has gone down the filthiest of drains and the evening exhaustion from, well, all the other negative thoughts that flitted through your mind all day. It's a vicious, vicious cycle.

Alright, enough of such depressing talk. Let's focus, instead, on the main subject of my post. The one word that has been on everyone's lips these first few days of the World Cup is 'minnow'. The first three days it was all about minnow-walloping and today it has been all 'minnow topples heavyweight' drama. I blame Ricky Ponting for starting this disturbing trend of social conversation. If he hadn't found the need to equate the minnows with some kind of annoying flies who do nothing but buzz and irritate, then we wouldn't have had the momentous discussions that followed about the advisability or otherwise of minnows playing in the World Cup. Barely had the disastrous comment escaped his colorful tongue than indignant minnow captains erupted out of nowhere claiming that they could 'spring a few surprises here and there' and cricket 'experts' began their drones about how the minnow matches prolong the World Cup beyond tolerance levels or conversely, how the unfortunate babes need all the big match practice they can get. Yawn. Somebody should put a gag order on the imaginative Mr. Ponting.

Moving on to more important things, South Africa's pummeling of the dazed Dutch yesterday had to be seen to be believed. Enough has been said about that over in which Herschelle Gibbs decided to check whether a bowler would break down in heartbroken sobs if forced to suffer too much violence, so I'll talk instead about the innocent-looking massacre inflicted by Mark Boucher and the composed ransacking antics of Jacques Kallis. I don't quite think I've ever been witness to a more sumptuous feast of runs. It felt like the boundaries would never stop - they kept getting bigger and bigger as the morale of the hapless Dutch bowlers kept getting smaller and smaller. That match, together with Australia's murderous assault on Scotland and Sri Lanka's clinical slaughter of Bermuda nearly vindicated Ponting's path-breaking statement, making him sound like an accomplished clairvoyant. Thankfully, however, today's events will have done enough to prevent Ponting's ever-present supercilious smile from widening further. That's because, as I write, Ireland seem to be on the verge of prompting full-scale riots in Pakistan, having dismissed them for a barely-believable score of 132. And Bangladesh seem to be on their way to inflicting some acute embarrassment on Dravid and Co., with India huffing and puffing mightily to reach a quite miserable score of 191. Bangladesh have been really robust in their reply so far, rattling away to 109 for 3 after 25 overs, and I sense that some really dark times are about to engulf the sub-continent. Don't be surprised if a few cricketers' homes are vandalised tomorrow. And Mr. Chappell, Mr. Woolmer, I think the pair of you should be packing your bags painfully soon.

Honestly though, these first few days have been really really entertaining. Barring the one languid game between the boringly efficient New Zealand and the woeful England (I guess they're back to their dark days), all the other matches have been real crackers, nasty shock or no nasty shock. I mean, come on - it was seriously good fun to watch the rampaging Gibbs clobber the poor Daan van Bunge with such remarkable disdain. And the Ireland-Zimbabwe tie, which literally turned out to be a tie, was fairly engrossing too. So things certainly are looking bright for this to end as the best World Cup ever. And that, in spite of all the garbage talk about minnows. I've always wondered though, why does everybody refer to the inexperienced teams as 'minnows'? Surely someone's got to have a better word to use? Any ideas, Mr. Ponting?

Time For Celebration

A boisterous din of trumpets and drums, an admirable assembly of cricketers - excellent and ordinary, retired and playing, and a flurry of hopeful, diplomatic statements. The start to this year's World Cup in the West Indies has been something of a study in contrasts; while the media has been drumming up a maniacal frenzy, the crowds in the Caribbean seem somewhat bemused by all the seriousness and sensationalism being attached to the Cup. And the players themselves have been all grace and dignity, with every captain talking up his team's chances while admitting, very generously, that all the other teams have equally strong chances of lifting the Cup. The ICC officials, meanwhile, have been lurking surreptitiously in the background, ensuring that the Cup is actually referred to as 'The ICC Cricket World Cup' and hoping that if anything goes wrong, they can distance themselves from the entire thing and blame everything on the West Indians. Sounds like a fun party, doesn't it?

The tournament has been marred somewhat by a few unsavory comments flying around the cricketing world like nervous dragonflies. The Ricky Ponting-Sunil Gavaskar altercation has already involved physical brawls and whacks on heads, and it's only a matter of time before these two gentlemen start pulling each other's hair while screaming frantically, "YOU started it!" Come on now, I can allow Ponting a few mischievous quotes here and there - he's young (at any rate, a lot younger than Mr. Gavaskar), at the peak of his batting powers, and he so perfectly embodies the arrogant, sweep-everything-before-you Aussie mentality. But I would've expected Gavaskar, a senior statesman and one of the most respected cricketers in India, to show a little more maturity and level-headedness. Pakistan, on the other hand, have had the audacity, yet again, to inflict embarrassment of a fairly injurious degree on the cricketing world and especially the ICC, by allowing Shoaib Akhtar and Mohammad Asif to get away without undergoing dope tests. And we thought Akhtar's career couldn't possibly get any more controversial. All is not well within the West Indian cricket community either, with former greats Viv Richards and Michael Holding continuing their noble battles with the 'corrupt' Caribbean cricket bureaucracy. Hopefully these sordid situations won't spill over and affect the organisation of the tournament, because that would really be tragic.

Thankfully, not everything is in disgraceful disarray, with Brian Lara in particular exuding wonderful warmth and composure and playing the part of the host skipper with remarkable poise. Among his many well-chosen comments, the one that brought much happiness to legions across the world was his statement that he will continue playing Test cricket for at least around 2-3 years more. So I guess we shouldn't hang our heads in despair just yet; maybe, just maybe, we'll get to witness some more gems of indescribable glory from his masterful blade. In the first match against Pakistan though, he wasn't quite at his disdainful best, but did his part anyway, partnering Marlon Samuels (who made a brilliant 63) in a 91-run stand that ultimately proved crucial to the match. Pakistan never really recovered from the onslaught by the West Indian batsmen in the last 5 overs, and even the vastly experienced Inzamam-ul-Haq and the prolific Mohammad Yousuf couldn't stop them from sliding to a potentially damaging 54-run defeat. Ponting, meanwhile, seems to have been properly fired up by Gavaskar's lavish comments, hammering his way, as I write, to a frenetic 113 against a quite unfortunate Scotland side as Australia racked up 334 runs in the first innings. And while Australia have been guilty of being rather daft at defending huge totals in the recent past, the chances of them not winning by at least 150 runs today are pretty slim, don't you think?

So another 48 matches and a month and a half of this magnificent spectacle to go. Predictions of the probable winners have been flying thick and fast all across the globe, but I'd still put my money on Australia coming up trumps. And I'd give the West Indies a fair chance too. And while I'm predicting things, I'll also predict that Brian Lara, Michael Clarke, Kevin Pietersen, Shaun Tait, Shane Bond and Dwayne Bravo will be the stars of this tournament. And oh, one more thing - something will go wrong with the organisation of the tournament at some stage; I don't really trust the carefree Caribbean crew to go through 45 days without bungling anything. So let's hope I don't end up with egg on my face at the end of the extravaganza. And let's also hope that it'll be a rollicking World Cup!

A Surprisingly Competitive World Cup?

I need some pills to counter my depression, and fast. Just days after I had so confidently declared in one of my posts that I did not expect Australia's shocking form slump to last more than a couple of games, I have the stickiest egg on my face with Australia having crashed to another humiliating defeat against New Zealand. What on earth is going on with these guys? I thought the second match, in which they failed to defend a colossal score of 336, was rock bottom. They couldn't possibly have done any worse from that point. But guess what, they've actually managed to do just that. A team cannot lose after putting up 346 runs on the board and then having the opposition reeling at 41/4. A team like Australia definitely cannot lose from that position. And it is simply unthinkable for a team like Australia to lose from such a bullish position just two days after having suffered the ignominy of failing to defend 336 and four days after a 10-wicket pasting. Yet, Australia have done the impossible. It's not the first time in the last 10 years that they've done that. The only difference is that this time, they've done the wrong kind of impossible. Where can I get some of those darned pills?

The slimmest of silver linings that has emerged from this travesty of a series is that the Australian cricketing heads now have a clear indication of which player to keep as far away from captaincy as George W. Bush is from intelligence. Mike Hussey may be an astonishingly effective batsman in both formats of the game, but he is a terrible, terrible captain. I'm almost certain that if Ricky Ponting had been in charge in the series, Australia would not have had to face so much embarrassment, and they definitely wouldn't have lost two consecutive games after having posted 330-plus scores. Okay, I know that it was actually Ponting who was at the helm in that bewildering 400-run Johannesburg game almost a year ago, but really, that match was a freak happening, a once-in-a-generation event that doesn't afflict an ordinary, fairly efficient captain too often. Let's face it, Hussey is remarkably daft as a skipper. There may be a chance that this swift judgment, taking into consideration only his woefully unflattering yet short record as captain, is a bit harsh on Hussey , but there's an even greater chance that the Aussie bosses will never entrust him with the role again. Which is why I believe that this particular stat of Hussey's striking cricketing career will probably remain forever horribly tainted.

So where do the Aussies go from here? The good news for them is that Ponting and Michael Clarke are almost certain to be fully fit for their opening World Cup match, and considering the rollicking time their relatively inexperienced replacements have been having in their absence, I think they've got the batting department fully covered. Their worry, and a very grave one at that, is the bowling. McGrath is finally showing signs of his age, Brett Lee has only a '50-50 chance' of being fit for the Cup, and Bracken has lost a fair bit of his zip from last year. Meanwhile, Mitchell Johnson and Shaun Tait almost seem to be drooling with excitement at the prospect of playing in an Australian side, and their performances have shown a correspondingly alarming dip. The spin department is almost non-existent, with Brad Hogg and Cameron White having emerged as just a shade better than part-time. And Shane Watson, I believe, should be kicked out of the team faster than you can say 'all-rounder'. The man is NOT an all-rounder - he can bat a bit and he can bowl a bit, but he scores way too few runs and gives away way too many to qualify as acceptable in either department. So basically, things don't look too good for defending targets. I guess Ponting's best bet is to field every time he wins the toss. He might even hope to be outrageously lucky and win the toss every match. I, for one, am fervently hoping that happens.

In all the joy, shock and despair (for me, at least) at Australia's downslide, people seem to have forgotten the Kiwis. The fact that they dared to rest Shane Bond and Daniel Vettori for the final match says a lot about their confidence right now. And the fact that they managed to win despite that says a lot about their ability and form. They may be colorless, they may be awfully boring, and they may not have a single star among their ranks (I don't think Bond qualifies as one - he plays far too seldom for that label) but they've got a lot of gumption, and ever so often, gumption is all that matters. So you never know, with India, South Africa and England peaking at just the right time, Pakistan being, as always, the unpredictable potential scene-stealers, Australia seeking to desperately salvage some of their battered ego, West Indies being the animated hosts and New Zealand on an intoxicated high, this might turn out to be a cracking World Cup, pathetic minnows and all. Throw in the fact that it is going to be the last one-day tournament for Brian Lara and the last World Cup for Sachin Tendulkar, and this might just end up as the best World Cup ever. Keeping my fingers crossed.

Lo And Behold, Australia Can Be Pathetic Too!

I've always thought there's a limit to how ridiculous things can get. Sure there can be a few moments of madness here and some perverted absurdity there, but before you know it, normalcy is restored and the world is at peace. If only this statement were true. If only we lived in a perfect world. I'm sorry, but I'm a bit shaken up by Australia's shocking loss to New Zealand today. A World Champion side does not rack up 336 belligerent runs and end up losing the match. And don't even get me started on the stupefying 10-wicket loss two days ago. Seriously, how ridiculous can things get?

Mike Hussey, that admirably gritty batsman-wonder who has been handed the captaincy in the absence of Ponting and Gilchrist suddenly finds himself in a Flintoff-like position of having to answer unanswerable questions about the less-than-feisty performances being put in by his players. Thank God he doesn't find the need to put on an about-to-break-into-miserable-sobs expression like Flintoff did for much of the past 3 months. But he's been no confident charmer either; it's not the easiest job in the world to explain away your team's woeful form, and Hussey is learning this the hard way. People might point out that five of Australia's seven key ODI players have been out of the side but there's been a telling lack of fight amongst the Australians in the last 3 games, and that's a worrying sign. In the past, Australia have always stuck doggedly to their much-maligned rotation policy and they've always managed to come up trumps in spite of missing key players. This time, however, they haven't even looked close to winning. So is this the beginning of the end of a glorious era or is it a simple matter of the players being exhausted, both physically and mentally, from the effort of giving England the pounding of a lifetime? Personally, I'd say the latter, particularly since we've been hearing the 'beginning of the end' cliche about this mighty Australian side for about 4 years now, without any noticeable vindication. But if Australia have to maintain their magnificent World Cup run they'll need Ponting, Gilchrist, Symonds, Lee and Clarke to be back in full fitness and form. Oh yes they will. The new No. 1 ODI side in the world, South Africa, will definitely not be trembling with fear at the prospect of facing an Australian side without any of these players.

It's funny how quirky fortune can get. Just as Australia are being besieged with freak injuries and poor form at the most horribly wrong time imaginable, India seem to be nearing peak form with a resounding series victory over Sri Lanka. Ganguly has emerged literally from the ashes like the proverbial phoenix and is once again the imposing one-day force that he was a couple of years ago. Dravid and Dhoni have regained their silken touch and brutally violent force respectively, and the bowlers, particularly Zaheer Khan and Ajit Agarkar, have started to dismantle opposition line-ups with something of a regularity. The most crucial boost to India's World Cup plans, however, has been the return to form of Yuvraj Singh, who is probably the most underrated ODI batsman in the world. A string of spectacularly bitter and disorienting losses in his absence has probably taught everyone just how important Yuvraj is to India's one-day plans, which is why his brilliant unbeaten 95 yesterday would have brought considerable joy to every Indian supporter. Probable world champions? I don't know about that yet, but things are certainly looking bright for a 'good World Cup', as Dravid unwisely put it a few days ago (surely any team would want to win the World Cup and not just have a good World Cup?).

And while we're talking of people being unwise, how far can we really be from the Pakistan cricket team? The latest 'thing' to hit Pakistan cricket (I guess all the problems that keep pounding Pakistani cricket can hardly be described as 'scandals' anymore; they're much too ordinary and commonplace for a word as scandalous as 'scandal') is Shoaib Akhtar's allegation that the coach Bob Woolmer abused him racially. I just don't get these guys - why on earth would a bunch of players and officials perpetually keep trying so hard to destroy the morale and spirit of the team? I guess that's one of the many mysteries of cricket - probably just as mysterious as Pakistan's reputation to overcome all of their demons and put in surprisingly brilliant performances on the field. It's a mysterious, mysterious game. Let's have a toast to that!

World Cup Jitters and Moronic Marlon

Okay, so the Aussie cricket team is not invincible. A good catch or run out here, an inspired Flintoff spell there, and a brilliant Collingwood century somewhere in between can ensure that even an ODI side as pathetic as that of England can turn the tables on Ponting's men. Gone is the aura of irrepressible authority that seemed to have so thoroughly stunned the Englishmen (and the Kiwis too, for good measure) into submission only a fortnight ago. I guess this only goes to show just how important Andrew Symonds is to Australia's one-day make-up. And England's victory has just about set every single cricket follower's tongue wagging about how the World Cup isn't going to be a stroll in the park for Australia after all. While all of this may sound very nice and rosy, especially for all those competition-mad enthusiasts who have been lamenting the 'death' of cricket caused by Australia's ruthless domination of the sport, I still don't think any other team in world cricket have got it in them to stand up to the Aussie bullies with more than just a strong heart and a tough spirit. The ability of the Australian team remains unmatched - with a batting line-up like theirs, and a bowling attack that cannot find a place for Mitchell Johnson and Stuart Clark, South Africa and Co. will be hard pressed to hand it to the Aussies in crunch games like semi-finals or finals. And that is the naked truth, whether you like it or not. Competition-mad enthusiasts, you can take a hike.

Meanwhile, the English team is suddenly beloved again. Flintoff's cheery, casual, mischievous grin that he had so made his own last year is back, and so is optimism among the British media about England's World Cup chances. But I wouldn't get too excited too soon (not that I want to get excited - the England ODI team inspires just about as much excitement as Zimbabwe's hopes of a Test recall). After all, they're only just two Australia-inflicted thrashings away from returning to the grief stricken despair that they were in two weeks ago. Let's just wait and watch then, shall we?

West Indies cricket and Marlon Samuels, on the other hand, have managed to find yet another way to plunge into darkness and misery. Exactly how darned stupid Samuels would have to be to have allowed himself to get caught on tape having a conversation with a bookie, or a friend who sounds very much like a bookie, is beyond my comprehension. And from the looks of things, Samuels will be taking Chris Gayle down with him too. Honestly, I cannot believe this guy. For six years I have been tearing my hair in frustration at the incandescent talent of Samuels and his woeful inability to convert that talent into anything significant, and just when things were finally appearing to be falling into place for him with a century against Pakistan and a brilliant 98 against India, he goes out and shoves himself into this depressing mess. I'll just pray that Brian Lara doesn't lose his mind completely, seeing how determined his teammates and the West Indies cricket board are to ensure that he never brings back any semblance of dignity to West Indies cricket. Sad. Really, really sad.

What was not sad was the sensational batting exhibition put up by South Africa in the first game of their 5-match series with Pakistan which was followed up by a Pakistani assault in the very next game. If for South Africa Mark Boucher was stunningly effective and Jacques Kallis willing to show he can whack a cricket ball with all the savage force of a Lance Klusener, then Shahid Afridi was absolutely brutal and Mohammad Yousuf clinically classy for Pakistan. Clearly, 350+ scores are going to become much more commonplace in ODIs now. Which is simply terrific news. And cricket pundits who can't stand big hitting and would much rather watch quality bowling, you can take a hike too!